David Townsend

DAVID LEE TOWNSEND

Born a Hoosier, died a Texan.

David Lee Townsend of Carrollton, Texas passed away in February after long illness. He was laid to rest at the Dallas/Fort Worth National Cemetery on July 22.

David was preceded in death by his mother Norma Jean Townsend (née Lett) and father James Lee Townsend. He was also preceded by his youngest sister Dorian Mae Lassiter. Twice a widower, David buried his beloved partner Don Bartlett in 2000 and a second partner George Jurek in 2010.

David is survived by his younger sister Deborah Elizabeth Baird, by 4 nephews, close friends and neighbors.

David was an Air Force brat whose childhood was spent in places like Kokomo, Indiana (where he was born,) El Paso, Texas, Alamogordo, New Mexico, Rhein Mein Air Force Base in West Germany, and Greenville South Carolina where he graduated from Greenville High School in 1965.

When you're military family, the question "where are you from?" can be compicated and Greenville was as close to hometown as the Townsend family got. That's why, until the end of his life, David proudly donned a Greenville High School Red Raiders baseball cap emblazoned with number 65, his graduation year.

After two years of college, David enlisted in the US Air Force, a four year stint which included deployments stateside as well as the Philippines. This was the late 60s, and being gay, or even rumors of being gay, could lead to a dishonorable discharge and even incarceration, forcing gay service members deep into the closet.

Decades later, a bipartisan Congressional effort ended the ban on openly gay service members, progress David was immensely pleased to see in his lifetime. And even though he would be too modest to say so, every openly gay service member in America stands on the shoulders of veterans like David Townsend who paved the way by serving with honor and valor despite the hostile climate.

After his honorable discharge from the Air Force, David became a salesman for what he called the "carriage trade," mostly fancy home goods.

David's career took him from Atlanta to New Orleans to Palm Desert, California where, along with his partner Don Bartlett, David honed his love of cooking and perfected the art of entertaining. At a time when social occasions often overlapped with an AIDS fundraiser or memorial service, no one brandished hospitality more glamorously than David and Don.

Their dinner parties and brunches were exquisite, an invite coveted by anyone living in the Southern California desert . This was a time when being out, proud, prosperous was an act of rebellion in the face of a government that didn't seem to mind the growing AIDS bodycount.

After a decade in Palm Desert, David and Dan moved to the Turtle Creek section of Dallas in 2000, shortly before Don's passing.

In a world filled with people who never find their soulmate, David found two.

When David met George Jurek on a blind date in the summer of 2003, it was love at first sight. David and George remained wildly in love until George's untimely death in February 2010.

Both of David's partners passed before marriage equality arrived in Texas. There were profound tax and inheritance consequences both times David lost a partner, an indignity he bore with grace and dignity. He could've been forgiven for being ambivalent when gay marriage finally came to Texas in 2013. But nobody was happier than David Townsend to see gay marriage legalized in America.

Did we mention David was a cat lover?

In addition to friends and family left behind, David was also survived by his loving cat Callie, who'll spend the remainder of her nine lives in Greenville, TX with David's bestie Jeanine.

Having a plan for Callie's well-being was a critical part of David's last will and testament. In life David, encouraged others to update their will to include a plan if your companion animal outlives you. It's also worth noting that David chose to leave Callie, his most beloved creature on earth, to someone on the opposite end of the political spectrum. There's a lesson in that gesture for all of us.

If Angels walk among us, then David was certainly surrounded by them in his final months, notably the Rainey family, David's across-the-street neighbors. Selflessly, the Rainey's made dozens of trips to care for David in the 7 months he spent in assisted living. Whether to keep him company or to deliver his mail or tasty treat, the Rainey's were always there to bear witness and give dignity to an ailing man at a vulnerable time. The Raineys embodied the love of Christ in word and in deed and David's final days were infinitely richer for it.

David's Angels also include his longtime besties John and Patrick who delivered too many strawberry milkshakes to count during David's time in assisted living.

About David

David Townsend was a gourmand who loved to cook. The most well-worn recipes in his recipe file were desserts. Judging from the smudges, Apricot cheesecake, drunk chocolate cake, hummingbird cake, and his mother's lemon fluff appeared to be in heavy rotation. His very favorite was Burt Green's famous (or is it infamous?) fractured fudge cake, a crowd favorite and the most likely culprit if David was bringing dessert.

David also loved sports, especially college football. If there was a major title on the line, David Townsend was there, remote in hand and snack in his lap. That means the Super Bowl and World Series of course, but also and Olympic Games, Masters golf, Wimbledon, and the Indy 500.

David didn't have a favorite college team per se. He just wanted an exciting, suspenseful game. For David, picking a fave often depended on the matchup. He tended to root for Texas-based teams first and foremost. But he also had an affinity for the universities where his nephews and their kids attended school. With a great niece heading off to Ole Miss in September, that's where his allegiance probably would've lied this year.

This year, Opening day of the college football season will be bittersweet because our beloved David Townsend won't be there for kickoff.

We all leave a legacy of some sort. David left the a sometimes ugly and unwelcoming world more beautiful and hospitable than he found it.

For example, After decades of gifting Neiman Marcus Christmas ornaments to friends and loved ones, Christmas trees all over America are chicer and more stylish because of it.

That's one of many reasons he'll be missed beyond measure.

It was an unseasonably mild Texas summer day when David Townsend was laid to rest at Dallas Fort Worth National Cemetery. His ashes were greeted by two members of the Air Force honor guard whose reverence for solemn ritual was a tender mercy to those gathered to say goodbye.

And as the sound of Taps pierced the air and bellowed across the hallowed grounds, there wasn't a dry eye to be found. The very public military honors that David Townsend was shown in death would've been unthinkable during his active duty years back in the late 60s and early 70s. It was a goodbye benefiting a good man and American patriot.

In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations to Taps for Veterans, an organization of volunteers who play taps for free at military funerals. They made David's final goodbye extra special.